CHAPTER ONE

That Bex messages me during our kids' sixth grade band concert isn't really a surprise.  If you've ever been to a middle school band concert you know what I mean, and since our kids were up first, we now have another thirty minutes before the concert is over.  Texting is a more socially acceptable way to pass the time than the guy a row in front of me who fell asleep on his wife's shoulder.

The surprise comes from what Bex sent me.

Rafe and my's anniversary is coming up next month. Sixteen years!

I know this, seeing as I was the maid of honor at her wedding.  She was the matron of honor at mine, two years later. Being best friends since the first day of college will do that to you.

Me: You doing anything fun?

Bex: Still trying to decide. We'd toyed with the idea of just going out to some place in the hill country, get an airbnb or something.

The dots appear and disappear, like she's either taking a long time to type something, or typing and then deleting.  Finally, a message comes through.

Bex: Would you guys be interested in joining us?

When I read the question all the air leaves my body, because the immediate answer is yes, absolutely yes. But then I wonder if she's asking what I think she's asking.  It's been a little over six months since the last time we went on vacation just the four of us, and we've since had an unspoken agreement never to discuss it.

Don't get me wrong, it was fun.  It was a lot of fun. But it was also the kind of thing that could have totally fucked up our friendship if we'd let it get out of hand, which is why ending it when we came home was the only logical choice.

I glance over my shoulder at her, and she's staring back at me, though when our eyes meet she turns beet red and turns back to her phone.

Bex: Oh my God, don't look at me, I'm asking you here instead of in person so that we can pretend like I never asked if we need to.

Me: Are you asking what I think you're asking?

Bex: I'm going to go out on a limb and say that it depends on your answer. 

Bex: For plausible deniability.

Me: I mean, I have to ask Alec.

Bex: Okay.

I nudge my husband, who's reading the program like it's a novel, and just as I tilt the screen towards him Bex sends another message.

Bex: Not right now though!

I snatch the phone back, about to ask why she asked me right now if I'm not supposed to ask him right now, when my phone vibrates with another message, this one from Alec to the group text we share with Bex and her husband.

Alec: Something you two want to share with the rest of the class?

That's when the song the seventh graders are playing ends and everyone starts clapping.  I put down my phone and start clapping too, thankful for a distraction from the fact that I was just trying to negotiate an orgy while sitting in a middle school auditorium.

***

After the concert we mingle with other parents, waiting for the kids to come out. As the fundraising chair for the band boosters, tons of people have questions for me, but eventually we make our way to Bex and Rafael.

"You never answered the text," Alec says, wrapping his arms around my shoulders from behind. "What were you two being so secretive about during the concert?"

Bex turns bright red when our gazes meet.

"Text?" her husband asks, but when he looks at Bex they have a silent conversation, and realization dawns on his face. "Oh. Wait, you asked here?"

"I feel like I'm missing something," Alec says, so I wrap my hands around his forearms and give him a light squeeze.

"Their anniversary is coming up, and they were wondering if we wanted to join them on a getaway."

I keep my voice light because we're at a school, surrounded by other parents, and our kids are coming out at any moment. But I can tell by the way he goes still behind me that Alec knows exactly the meaning behind the invitation, and when I turn to look at him, he's looking at Rafael with definite heat in his gaze. 

"Ye-," he starts, then freezes and looks at me to check in. It reminds me of that last trip, when we both wanted so much but also wanted to be sure the other one did too, always put our own relationship first. "I mean…"

I nod and give him the briefest of kisses because we are, after all, in the middle of our kids' school. Then I look back at Bex and Rafael. "Yeah."